In the new book “The Obamas,” New York Times correspondent Jodi Kantor, writes about a secret White House cover-up. What officials at the nation’s capital tried to keep under wraps wasn’t classified military information, but apparently a 2009 Halloween party attended by the cast of Tim Burton‘s Alice in Wonderland:

White House officials were so nervous about how a splashy, Hollywood-esque party would look to jobless Americans — or their representatives in Congress, who would soon vote on health care — that the event was not discussed publicly and Burton’s and Depp’s contributions went unacknowledged.

I can see why Kitty Kelly, whose claim to fame is being the author of unauthorized biographies of Nancy Reagan, Frank Sinatra, the Bush family and Oprah, skipped this one. There may be a juicy story lurking somewhere in the Obama White House, but this isn’t it. For me, the picture brought an unexpected bout of 2009 nostalgia.  I was taken back to a screening of Tim Burton‘s Alice in Wonderland at the Navy Pier Imax Theater. As everyone exited the theater, there was a man dressed up as Johnny Depp‘s Mad Hatter greeting the kids, and adults, who had just seen the movie. The costume and makeup was an exact replica of Depp’s in the movie and as I was walking through the crowd, a young child yelled out, “You were good in the movie!” Just like the child’s innocent response, that post-Avatar time period, when speculation over the 3D movie craze was at a fever pitch, already seems like a bygone era. Now, with hindsight being 20/20, we can thank James Cameron for the fact that every Disney movie will now get a 3D re-release complete with an ever increasing surcharge. In Hollywood, that’s what they call progress.

[New York Post]

That’s Reed Hastings up above. He’s the CEO of Netflix, and the mastermind behind the Quickster debacle. Last month he apologetically announced that he was going to split Netflix into separate divisions: one for streaming videos, and the other for DVD-by-mail, to be called Quickster. After outrage from consumers and investors, he sheepishly backed out of that plan yesterday. Strange that Hastings thought the best way to phase out a service was to build another company. That’d be like McDonalds selling Big Macs in one location, and Quarter Pounders in another.

If Hastings truly wishes for Netflix to becoming streaming-only (to cut more costs for a monopoly?), then he better focus on making the streaming quality better. Sure, there’s some HD choices, but most of the movies aren’t that great of picture. Some movies aren’t even presented in widescreen. Consumers notice that kind of thing. People trust DVDs. And some people even like the good, old fashioned practice of handling DVDs. They like to feel them, pop ‘em in the DVD player, push play… that sort of thing.

Whatever people’s preferences are, one thing is for certain: All subscribers seemed to be satisfied with the way Netflix was before. So why did a company that was already a Master of the Universe, decide to tarnish its brand by rolling out a stupid idea that would confuse its already loyal customers (not to mention devaluing its stock in the process)? Ask Mr. Hastings, I guess.

If a celebrity does a good deed and no one photographs it, did the deed even exist? Miley Cyrus took a break from her current tour to visit Haiti and help distribute hearing aids to its citizens (you’d think Floridians would have more of a demand for those). Taking to her Twitter, she wrote:

That’s a little boy named Emanuel we fit him w hearing aids… I’ve never seen a smile like his! I can’t wait to go back.

For her next photo op, that is! Seeing celebrities take time out of their busy schedules to further promote themselves always brings tears to my eyes.

Footloose, the remake that nobody asked for and nobody’s excited for, is finally going to be hitting theaters. Note to executives: remaking cheesy 80s musicals, but taking the cheesy 80s-ness out of them, is not a great idea (see Fame from 2009). And casting a poor man’s Michael J. Fox in the lead role is also not a great idea. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Kevin Bacon. Just try and play the Six Degrees of Separation game with his new replacement Kenny Wormald. There’s no way to link him to Elizabeth Perkins. Where’s the fun in that?

Ex-Roseanne star Sara Gilbert was about to safely enter the “Where Are They Now” zone, where her former TV siblings Alicia Goranson and Michael Fishman currently reside. Then, in 2010, like a gift from the muse, she thought of an idea for a show. It would feature strong women sitting around a coffee table chatting about the day’s events. Actually, Barbara Walters thought of it back in 1997 and called it The View. The only original twist that Gilbert added was a different name: The Talk, same syllables, different letters.

The Talk debuted last October on CBS with decent ratings and featured a who’s who of former Celebrity Apprentices, including Holly Robinson-Peete, Sharon Osbourne, Leah Remini, Gilbert and, as the Walters-esque, “Your Highness” character, Julie Chen, plucked right from her news desk at CBS This Morning. Before long, however, it started to seem more like Chen’s show. She was the breakout “star” so to speak. This was not because the public had fallen in love with her like they had with Rosie O’Donnell back in 1996. No, it’s because she’s married to Les Moonves, president of CBS. That means she can do whatever the hell she wants to do.

In the following clip, Chen pats herself on the back for her emotional reaction to 9/11 during a discussion with the other girls. Of course, she’s the only one equipped with a pre-edited video segment starring herself to back her up:

When rumors of a clash between Chen and the other girls surfaced, it was no surprise that for season number 2, voilà, there would be cast changes (goodbye Peete and Remini!). Hell hath no fury like a Chen scorned. When Molly Shannon was announced as one of the temporary replacements, it seemed like a good choice on their part. By including one of the funniest comedic actresses in Hollywood in their lineup, The Talk had nowhere to go but up. Well, not exactly. Something about Chen’s glare just totally neuters and destroys Shannon’s timing. In the following clip, she can hardly get though a story before throwing in her forfeit towel:

And in this clip, even doing the simplest of promotions for her new children’s book while Chen’s sitting near her proves to be too much for Shannon:

The Talk managed to turn a once-vivacious and funny Shannon into a whimpering, stuttering, nervous wreck of her former self. The SNL alum even managed to get jeers from TV Guide. I don’t think that the problem is Shannon, though. I don’t even think the problem is Chen, who has a certain shameless spite that I can respect. The problem is that the lineup has no chemistry, the format is stale, and this stale format is being executed better (if that’s the right word for it) by the original The Talk, The View.

The children’s book, “Go The F**k to Sleep,” by Adam Mansbach reached #1 on the Amazon bestseller as a result of becoming a huge viral hit. For the audio book version, the publisher hired both Samuel L. Jackson and German director Werner Herzog to narrate prose such as the following:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep

I wonder how Morgan Freeman feels about being left out. He can always hold out hope for, “Go the F**k to Sleep 2.”

When I went to see Woody Allen‘s Midnight in Paris at Landmark Century City last week, I was appalled by the pre-show “entertainment” as they so call it. I had entered the theater with a smile. I had buttery popcorn with ranch seasoning, it was a cool 72 degrees,and I was excited to see the new Woodman flick, which had garnered his best reviews since Mia Farrow was still one of his stock company actors. But when the lights went down, instead of trailers, the audience was greeted with TV commercials, including one of those sanctimonious ads for MSNBC with Rachel Maddow where she tells you to “lean forward.”

Is it me or is there something wrong with this picture? An art cinema pandering to corporate sponsors? I thought only the airport-style multiplex theater chains did that. And to play a commercial for a liberal network no less? You’d think progessives would be against this kind of thing. Goes to show ya that most of the world has sold out. Not even the art houses are scared anymore. Lean forward indeed.

It’s hard to believe, but director Steven Spielberg once slapped his name on a project lamer than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The year: 1996. The project: a game –or a CD-Rom, rather–aptly titled Director’s Chair, developed by Knowledge Adventure, where YOU the player got to help write, produce, direct and edit a major motion picture starring Quentin Tarantino, in his bad acting heyday, and Jennifer Aniston, back when Friends was still new and fresh. This was supposed to be a tool for aspiring filmmakers. The problem was that the game had no stakes. Everything felt predetermined, as if you were watching a bad movie unfold on your desktop. The truth is, there is no equivalent to actually making a real movie. And if you are an aspiring filmmaker, why waste your time playing games?

Still, Director’s Chair was not as bad as another of Spielberg’s other failed games: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for Atari. Rushed into production after the phenomenal box office success of the movie, this game boasted horrible graphics, even for 1982 standards, and poor design. Kids were less than excited to play it after the holiday season, and all unsold cartridges were buried in a New Mexico landfill. I wonder what Knowledge Adventure did with the unsold Director’s Chair disks.

Long before Lady Gaga‘s big monster hit ruled the airwaves, Dusty Springfield recorded a song called titled “Born This Way” as part of her comeback album “Reputation” in 1990.